Is No Synonymous to Rejection? Part 1

Hello there. Welcome to July! 

Hope your faith in Christ hasn't waned? I'm rooting for you.

I trust God to help us receive this message.

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I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and then I saw one of my mentors post a video of his one-year-old daughter who was initially playing with her brother and then in a split second she started poking him. As soon as her dad noticed, he stopped her saying, ‘don’t poke your baby brother’. Mira looked at him with a puppy face and then withdrew immediately with tears in her eyes. I passed the post and then the Holy Spirit asked me to go back and view the story again. What I noticed was her initial response was withdrawal simply because she was corrected. Isn’t this how we all feel?

Was the father wrong? Should he have left her to continue until an injury happened? Your thoughts?

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I would be sharing some of my experiences with you. I have been in a few relationships and situation-ships, and whenever those relationships end I always felt rejected and my esteem would be so low. This made me toxic to me.

I had a few guys who liked me and sincerely speaking I didn’t feel the same way about them so I told them, No. Instead of leading them on. I do not know how they felt but I can bet they might have felt rejected too.

I would feel so guilty for saying no to them, but I knew they would end up frustrated. So... I left because I did not want to give my heart in fragments. In recent times I liked a guy, he checked all my heart lists but then he didn’t feel the same way about me and you can guess right. I felt rejected.

I had applications and I was denied. I felt rejected yet again. The emails brought so many stings. ‘Sorry, we cannot help’' I could almost recite the lines. Sigh.

Can you relate?

This happened just this week, I expressed my heart in an email to a scholarship board director. I got a reply saying, thanks for what you do, unfortunately, we can’t help. I asked for consideration after reading their terms then I got ghosted. It made me feel worse. The list is endless.

As we journey through this write-up, my words would be conversing with your mind and heart without a single word voiced out, a quick reminder that this is a safe place, my love. Express yourself.

That being said, let’s look at another perspective on rejection and how they have shaped me. I hope you learn. Welcome to my heart, let’s start.

Rejection in Applications.

I recently went to an embassy to get a visa and I am someone who pays mental attention to people’s body language, facial reactions, smiles, and gesticulations.

As I sat outside the embassy’s waiting area for my turn, I watched the anxiety written on the faces of others, myself inclusive. There seemed to be a few silent words of hope voiced out. Each person said a prayer of ‘I would get it this time’ The trees at the embassy waved their leaves nodding in agreement with me as they had seen this scene a few times.

Our fate was in the hands of the Consulate officer, we wore our best dresses and tucked in our shirts. Lost in the world of my thoughts I began to wonder, what if they say ‘NO’ what would happen to our plans.

The doors opened and I watched the facial expression of those who had just finished their interview and I could almost tell what the Consulates officer’s reply was.

You could see the smile underneath the face mask of some and you could see the tears held back by others, both groups tried to compose themselves as they walked out. I muttered to myself; I wonder what I would do too. My turn came in and I could hear the Consulate officers speak to each asking them certain questions like, what type of job they do, their age, and ties back to their country, they asked for supporting documents and some came in without sufficient funds and as such was rejected, some had no ties to their countries so it might have been assumed that they would not come back.

Observation over, I had my interview, and thanks to God I did get my visa. Like every other person, I masked my emotions until I left.

Within this same period, I applied for a permanent residency in a country, but I got denied. The officer explained that I had not ticked all their criteria boxes, she reviewed my documents and explained all that I need to do to get it next time.

I applied for some scholarships and wrote multiple emails and letters but got denied. I was like Mira, I withdrew and felt rejected.

What the Holy Spirit taught me about rejection with applications as it relates to this is that sometimes we need a No to:

1. Help us prepare better. As you see the scenario at the embassy (some people needed more supporting documents).
2. It provides clarity, like my rejection with the PR application.
3. It’s also God’s way of protecting you and telling you, that I have a better path. Remember there’s a way that may seem right to you, but its end is destruction. It is God protecting and building you.

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 — Abba

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5–6 — Abba

Have you had any rejections with your application? I know it’s hard but instead of feeling rejected, can you look at it as redirection? Can we change your perspective toward the event? Can you take a few steps back and ask the right questions?

We'd be back next week with a Part 2. But for now, remember that even a no from God has sprinkles of blessings on it.

Song Suggestions:  Hindsight by Hillsong Young and Free; Too Good to Not Believe by Bethel Music.

I am Jessica, Abba's pen and heart expressed on earth.